Chapter Thirty-Four – It's a Pandemic of Trust Issues

Lara brought out the speakers and we played sad girl music as we scrolled through our phones in silence.

I was mindlessly liking things on Twitter when someone knocked on the door. Then I heard Sly’s voice calling out my name. My heart skipped a beat. I was not ready to see him. I was very upset and I hated confrontation. I was trying to use tonight to gather my thoughts before I approached him when I was ready. If I’m being real, I would probably be ready in a week or two. My ghosting tendencies are not something I’m proud of.

“I’ve been calling you. Where did you vanish to?” he asked. He frowned in confusion when I didn’t let him in and instead closed the door behind me. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes” I replied. My response was anything but satisfactory. If anything, I just made him aware that I was indeed not okay and everything was not okay.

“What’s wrong? Why did you leave the concert suddenly?”

“I was tired.”

“Okay. Why didn’t you at least tell me first before leaving. One moment you were there and the next moment you weren’t. I was worried.”

“Yes. One moment I was standing there while you were dancing with your ex. I was literally invisible.”

“I…”

“Look, Sly, I am very upset right now and I don’t want to talk to you because I might say something I’ll regret tomorrow. So, please go away. When I’m calmer, then we can talk.”

“Araba. I’m really sorry. It wasn’t even…”

“Sly, please, not tonight.”

I turned around and left. I was proud of myself for doing that, even though I felt bad leaving him in the hallway. I needed to step away because when I’m upset, I say the first thing that comes to mind and it’s often not a good thing. If I stayed, I might even have told him that I wanted to end things. I’m that dramatic. I needed to sleep off my feelings.

*

Lara had had enough of Kwame’s weird behavior. He was certainly cheating again and she would not stand for it. There was no way. She banged on his door. He was almost startled to see her since he had been making a conscious effort to avoid her.

“Kwame, what is going on with you? You’ve been acting weird lately. What is going on?” she demanded.

Kwame stuttered before promising her that there was nothing wrong. There was something wrong.

“Really? Give me your phone” Lara demanded, stretching out her hand.

“What?”

Lara didn’t repeat herself. She stretched her hand out further. “Either you give me your phone or I’m leaving and never coming back.”

Kwame reluctantly placed it in her hands. Her first point of call was to check his call log and then his texts. He could be talking to any girl but the person she was most worried about was Nana Yaa.

She was embarrassed to find that the last time Kwame called or texted Nana Yaa was before February 14th. He wasn’t cheating or at least he was hiding it very well.

“Do you really not trust me?” Kwame asked, hurt. Lara couldn’t meet his eye.

“I do. It’s just that you’ve been strange lately. What is going on? Just tell me.”

He wasn’t about to tell her.

“I promise you that it’s nothing. I’ve just been thinking a lot about the upcoming tests that we have to take and how much I have to study. That’s all.”

Lara hugged Kwame remorsefully. He let out a sigh of relief. That was certainly a close call.

*

“Are you sure you want to do something like that?” Miss. Gyan asked in shock.

“Yes” Mara replied.

Jean sat quietly contemplating the matter. “Jean, what do you think?” Miss. Gyan asked. Jean shifted herself in her chair and was silent for a few more minutes before speaking.

“I understand the intention. On paper it’s a great idea. Once there’s a face to the action, more people will feel confident enough to own their truth. Besides keeping Mr. Mintah accountable for his actions, we want to give more girls a voice but this is not something to be taken lightly. Mara, if you do this, your life will never be the same again. Everyone will know who you are; friend and foe. Forever and ever, you’ll be known as that girl who was a part of sex for grades. It’ll follow you no matter what you try to do. Honestly, looking at both sides, I think it’ll be better for the case and for you if you stay anonymous, at least for now.”

Mara was disappointed but she accepted the advice. She didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize her case.

*

It’d been almost three days since Sly and I spoke. He had been texting me incessantly to check in but I couldn’t bring myself to reply. The silent treatment was killing me too but I wasn’t ready to face him yet. What if it didn’t end well when I went?

He eventually couldn’t take it anymore and ambushed me on my way from class.

“Can we talk” he asked earnestly. His voice was so gentle and his eyes were pleading with me. It was hard to keep a tough resolve. I didn’t even want to. I wasn’t angry. I was scared of what might happen if we talked.

I had been nervous to enter Sly’s room many times before but this time made me the most unhappy. He offered me water and tried to stall the conversation with small talk till I had had enough.

“Did you bring me here to talk about sports or to talk about what you did on Friday?” I demanded sharply. He fell silent and looked at me, searching my eyes to see what mood I was in. I gave nothing away.

“No. I wanted us to talk about Friday. Araba, I promise you, Trudy is a part of my past. When we danced, I made sure I didn’t really touch her and the others were around too. I would never do anything to compromise our relationship."

“Do you still love her?”

Sly seemed genuinely surprised by the question. I wasn’t buying it. Men are excellent actors.

“No. I don’t.”

“So, you did love her?”

“No. I mean yes. We dated for two years. I definitely would have feelings and that’s not a bad thing. It’s in the past now.”

“Is it though?” I asked, pulling out my phone and showing him a screenshot of his comment.

“Were you stalking her Instagram?”

“That’s not the point.”

“It was a joke. It’s something that runs in the friend group. We share mutual friends and before we broke up, all of us used to hang out. We would comment that on each other’s posts for fun. It was a comment that a pervert left on her post and we've been using it ever since. Here, I’ll show you.”

He pulled out his phone and showed me similar comments he had made on Ian’s posts and some other friends. Then he opened Trudy’s Instagram and showed me that Ian had commented the same thing on the post.

“By December I was totally into you. There’s no way I would comment something like that on her post and mean it.”

I felt better but I wasn’t convinced.

Who gets over an ex like that? I was a 100% downgrade and he could not tell me otherwise.

I played nervously with my hair and thought to myself that I needed to take my braids out. As I sat there, I battled with myself. There was so much t know that I didn't want to. What if it made me more insecure? I could drive Sly away with my constant trust issues. Reader, sometimes you just have to know what you need to know even though what you need to know might not be something you want to know. You feel me?

“Why did you guys break up?”

Sly took in a deep breath.

“Because she was engaged in a lot of student politics and philanthropic work and she felt like she needed the space to focus on that. She traveled too for a while.”

That explained why I had never met her. She was probably still abroad by the time I entered the picture. That made sense, I had seen some of her posts on Instagram about her travels and speaking engagements. A realization smacked me across the face.

“So wait, she broke up with you?”

“Yes.”

Reader, this was bad. This was very bad. It meant in the exchange of energy, she still had the power. He was the one still holding on when she chose to let go which meant anytime she wanted to reattach herself, the cord was still open.

I was at risk of losing my first boyfriend to his ex.