Chapter Sixty-Six – Sometimes You Think You’re in Love but Maybe You’re Just Hungry

Actually, I just realized I’m telling the story. I call the shots. There’s no need to describe that kiss. All you need to know is that it was good and that Boateng couldn’t stop thinking about it. I guess we both had a lot on our minds.

Lara and Kwame made it to the Bible Study together. The topic of discussion was coincidentally about God being a father. Lara was surprised to find that the group study did in fact make her feel better. Yes, she’d been to church and heard that God is our father but something about hearing it now and seeing the stark difference between her real father and God made her very emotional.

She didn’t realize when she’d started to cry. Kwame, not wanting to divulge anything asked that the whole group pray for Lara that she would have peace. That was the most loved she’d ever felt.

As Kwame walked her back to her room, she observed that it was surprisingly really good and that she’d definitely come again.

Kwame walked back to his room feeling like he’d conquered the world! This was why he was doing it and if he stayed faithful to the cause, perhaps more people would hear about it, come and be blessed.

***

Foolish decisions are like malaria. You can never precisely tell at what point the infection came. You cannot identify on what day, at what place, at what time or which mosquito, bit you. All you know is one morning, you wake up feverish and realize that all the telltale signs of the disease are there.

Yes, foolish decisions are like malaria. I don’t know when the mosquito bit me or which it was. All I know is I texted Sly to say hi.

Don’t ask me why. How would I know?

Just like that, the two of us were talking again. So here I am, thinking that maybe I like Boateng. At the same time, I’m loving my conversations with Alex too and now I am also talking to my ex. Of course, I’m just talking to him but let’s be serious. He broke up with me. So, there’s definitely a part of me that’s open to the idea of rekindling. Whatever am I to do with my stupid heart?

Things were still yet to get to a head. This all happened when I went to visit Carl.

“I feel like we haven’t really hanged out this semester. That sucks” I said.

“Yes. I know right. But then again maybe things did get awkward after what happened over the long vacation after all.” He replied.

“Let’s not talk about that” I said, giggling nervously. Seriously, we are never talking about that.

Carl laughed too. He handed me a bottle of water from the fridge and plopped down on the bed next to me.

“Anyway, so what’s up with you? There’s so much to catch up on. I hear you are talking to my boy Alex” he said.

“Yeah, we’ve been talking.”

Carl asked if I was interested and I said I wasn’t sure.

“Hmmm. I really thought you and Boateng might finally stop playing games and make a decision about being together. But here you are talking to someone else and it looks like Boateng and Aseda are getting serious. Who knew?”

My head shot up so quickly it startled Carl. He looked at me wide-eyed, confused by my reaction. I quickly readjusted myself trying to act nonchalant. “They are?” I asked. I made a piss-poor attempt at scrolling on my phone.

Carl caught onto it all but he decided to humor me. That and also the fact that he loves a good gossip. How does this boy hope to make it in the music industry with a mouth like that? We will never know.

“Yeah. Boateng told me they kissed. She’s very serious about him and I think he wants it too. I’m pretty sure they’ve been together the whole of this week. You know Boateng, he moves fast and she is willing so maybe by next week they will be a thing.”

I had been sipping on the water at that last sentence. My esophagus immediately shut; my larynx opened to receive the water. Now I don’t know any medical terminology so I can’t explain what happened. All I know is the water gushed out from my nose and I had to spit the rest from my mouth. I spent the next ten minutes coughing while Carl tapped my back, apologizing.

As I was fighting for my life, my mind was racing. Carl was right. Yes, sure Boateng had done some evolving but he was still capable of jumping into some sort of relationship with Aseda. I couldn’t have that.

There was so much happening in my life all at once, my head was pounding. Not to mention I was still very much a student and examinations were six weeks away.

***

After lectures, as Lara and I walked back to the room, she gushed about how much she’d enjoyed Kwame’s Bible Study.

“Araba, you should have been there. There’s another one tomorrow. Maybe you should come. Kwame is really different now. You almost can’t tell it’s the same person. I loved every moment.”

“I don’t know if I can ever listen to him but I’m glad it’s making you feel better. Have you decided what you’re going to do with the money your parents sent you?”

“No. I haven’t. I’m still not spending it though. Right now, I’m focused on making my own money with the business.”

I thought that was dumb because just yesterday, Lara had had to eat gari soakings because she was low on cash. To each their own.

***

Boateng’s room smelled like burned rice when I entered. How can a person burn rice with a rice cooker? Such are the mysteries of men.

Per usual, Boateng’s roommate was nowhere to be found so we had the room to ourselves. I had planned to subtly ask about him and Aseda. Then I would advise him about what a danger she was to all the progress he’d made over the last few months.

“I heard you and Aseda are moving along quickly. That’s nice” I said.

Boateng immediately knew my source of information and chuckled. “Yeah. I mean she’s a cool girl. I like her vibe” he said.

He likes her vibe. That’s good then. He didn’t say he liked her. It was just her vibe.

“Do you then not have feelings for me anymore?” I asked. I was not planning to say that part out loud but now that I’d said, I might as well commit to it.

“Well, no. I definitely still like you but it’s like we talked about the last time. We both have to move on. I thought you were doing that with Alex?”

“I was. But Boateng the thing is, I think I might like you too. At first I wasn’t sure but now I am and…”

I did not plan to say that out loud either. I paused.

“I have no idea what I’m doing half the time. I always thought I was levelheaded and now my head’s all over the place. But I do know we deserve a shot. We do. I just need time. I need time to heal and figure out what I want and who I want and when I want it. My mind is literally screaming half the time, I have no idea how I’m managing through school. I guess all I’m saying is I want you to give us a chance, just not now. I wish you’d wait for me. I know that’s not fair and you probably don’t want …”

“I’ll wait for you” Boateng interrupted. His interjection made me realize I was rambling and barely making sense. “I will wait for you. You deserve it” Boateng said again, holding my hand in reassurance.

“Are you sure? No more Aseda? Cause I really don’t like her.”

“No more Aseda… or any other girl. I will wait for you.”