I Don't Want to Be A Woman Anymore

Warning, the following story is about to be brutal and blunt, reader discretion is advised.

Hi, my name is Mariama and I don’t want to be a woman anymore. No, I’m not transgender ,and no, I don’t feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body. I am a woman who doesn’t want to be a woman anymore and in a few violent words, I will explain why.

Let’s start with the household, after all, everything begins from home. Tell me why I have to be stuck in the kitchen doing chores after school while my brothers get to sit and watch cartoons. God forbid I should want to play too, then I’m lazy and bad. Have you ever thought perhaps I wouldn’t enjoy cooking? Or because I was born with a you-know-what, I must love it?

When you express frustration at the double standard you’re told, “he’s a man and you’re a woman”. I seemed to have missed the part in the Bible where God scribbled the duties of a woman and a man on their genitalia after creating them. Make it make sense because I’m struggling.

When Victony, said ‘I fit go dey kolomental’ he was talking about me because I can never understand the difference in assignment of chores. Chores are chores. I’m not complaining about them, because they’re important and every well-functioning human being should know how to do them. My problem is with throwing a tantrum when your son picks up a broom while screaming and raving because your daughter isn’t doing enough to help you around the house. Woman, God gave you five children for a reason but you are choosing to use just two. Sad.

I think it would be nice for me to learn how to cook and clean because it's a basic life skill and not because my husband will send me packing because I can't or don't do it well enough.

Don’t get me started on the strict rules we’re meant to live by. Some years ago, I went to get my hair done and got home past seven. The storm my mother raged, you would think I had gone to a nightclub and flashed some guys at the bar. Just two days before, my brother had come home past seven after going out with friends. There was not even a pip. Her statement was “he’s a boy and you’re a girl”. The day that ceases to be the chosen explanation is the day that the world moves forward.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that it’s more dangerous for women but it still doesn’t make the strict rules and harsh treatment okay. There are some dads who like to make jokes about how angry they would be at their daughters for bringing home a boyfriend but how proud they would be of their sons for bringing home a girl. The only thing funny about that joke is how utterly stupid it is.

Now to the next point of my rage. As a woman you’re never really alone. You never have your own peace. Tell me why every time I step out, some son of Adam absolutely must have a piece of my time or my phone number. Trying to see if you can ‘clock’ me to boost your fragile ego does no favors for my own personal space and freedom. This entire week, everywhere I’ve gone, from changing tires, to filling the tank, to getting groceries, to downright just walking home, someone has asked for my number.

If I got a dollar for every time a man approached me, I would be the owner of a small island; where I would stay for some peace and quiet. God forbid you don’t give your number, you’re hounded till you do, threatened to the point where you fear for your life or made to look bad. One young fellow called me 15 times in one day after taking my number. Sir, I have things to do. Another funny one is when a guy approached me for my number while I was on the verge of a meltdown after receiving some bad news.

There are some humorous men who claim we like the attention and would be sad without it. I would like to assure you with everything I believe in that you ignoring me would not make me love myself less. I would appreciate taking the bus and getting home without having to accommodate some man’s advances. Also no, it’s not that I have an attitude, it’s that you’re the third stranger approaching me today and I’m rather tired of it.

Oh, here’s another good one. “Can’t we compliment anymore?”. Sir, your comment about me looking sexy has nothing to do with my work here and honestly doesn’t make me feel good. You could have said I was looking nice without making any direct reference to my body.

Then there’s the classic case of “your dress called for it”. Honestly, I need all the men in the world to come together and write a manual informing us about what outfit calls for what. It would make things so much easier.

Also, for the record, no, your compliments about my body aren’t flattering. They don’t make me feel good, especially the ones where you suggest having sexual intercourse with me. I didn’t find it amusing or nice. I mean telling me you would like to put your genitals in me doesn’t make me swoon. I’m sorry.

I also have no problem being a prude, when your joke was actually not funny. For those telling me I take things too seriously, it’s my prerogative and I don’t understand why my boundaries should be crossed because someone else feels their too much.

There was this half-witted boy on Twitter who seemed to have a problem with girls saying it’s scary for them to go out at night. He felt it was the same for men. First of all, there’s a lot of space on Twitter. Last I checked there's no limit to the number of times you can air your views. Why don’t you use your own phone to tweet your fears rather than coming under someone else’s tweet to invalidate theirs. Also, your ignorance of clear statistics is baffling.

Women form 90%, if not more, of rape victims, sexual assault victims, kidnapping, child trafficking etc. So yes, while a man could also be harmed while traveling at night, the risks for women are far more, and the fact that you can’t see that is scary.

Lest I forget let’s talk about the sheer audacity of some men to ridicule you for not shaving your legs or conforming to some beauty standard. This same man who uses a five-in-one and walks around like he was never taught grooming. I can never forget that some men decided to mock Megan Thee Stallion for her toes. Toes? I can’t pretend some women don’t hop on this trend as well, bashing girls for not upholding some unnecessary beauty standard. I’m so sorry that hair grows out of the places that hair is supposed to grow out from. The next time I get a consultation with God, I’ll let him know to remove hair from the body entirely. Let’s just pretend it isn’t there for a reason. I’ll also try to ask why he didn’t make my body shape more to your taste.

You shame women for getting BBLs and then also turn around and criticize their bodies. Like, we can never win! The next man that tells me he likes his girl natural will be smacked. Yes, you can have preferences. Seeing as you have them, go look for your natural girl and stop forcing women who are living their lives to change to suit your tastes.

To the women that uphold these patriarchal standards, I just want you to know you’re no different from the black slaves who helped their white ‘massa’ control the other blacks. You think you ate? No sis, you’re the meal. You are out here subjecting your fellow woman through grueling widowhood rights and female genital mutilation. All for what? A trophy? At the end of the day, you have only shot yourself in the foot.

To those who might think I’m an angry woman who hates men, I’m not. I have no problem with men. My problem is with the societal allocation of power and how some men are using it.

Finally, to conclude my rant, I would like to say to societal standards, to hell with you and your nonsense. You are outdated, useless and above all senseless.

I don’t think I want to be a woman anymore.