Chapter Seventy-One – I Know What I Want

Sly was waiting for me at the benches. He broke into a smile when he saw me approaching and extended his arms for a hug. The familiar scent of his perfume and the soft fabric of his hoodie relaxed my nerves.

I bet if that bench could talk, it’d probably say, “young lady, enough. There are many spots on this campus. Find somewhere else to do this.”

“Thanks for coming so quickly” I said, marvelling at how quickly he’d come. “I had some time to think about what you said and about us. Sly, you were one of the best things that ever happened to me here. When I came to the university, I wanted to experience it all but I never imagined I would fall in love and be with someone; especially someone like you. It meant the world to me.”

“Why do I sense a but coming?” Sly said woefully.

“We can’t move forward. I can’t ask you to give up your dreams to stay here and try to rekindle things with me. That isn’t fair to me or you. You’d eventually start to hate me…”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You would. You wouldn’t even notice when it happened. Nothing changed about why you ended things. You ended things because you were scared of Boateng and you still are.”

“Araba…”

“It’s true. If it wasn’t you wouldn’t be willing to give up UK just for us to rekindle things. I know you. You’d ask us to try long distance.”

“Then let’s do that.”

I shook my head.

“You were right to end things. You were right all along as you often were throughout our time together. You were my first love and I will never forget you but I think it’s time we both moved on – for both our sakes. Goodbye, Sylvester. Thank you for everything.”

I gave him a peck and walked away before he could stop me. I heard him call out my name but I kept walking. My eyes filled with tears and I was grateful that I already knew the way, otherwise I probably would have fallen into the gutter nearby.

The bench was probably watching, thinking to itself ‘well done, girl. Well done”.

I pulled my hoodie, closer to my body as the chill December air worked its way through the fabric. I had returned to my room, shaking from the decision I’d made and refusing to cry. This was the first time I’d faced my emotions and the reality of things head on and I felt so empowered.

As I lay in bed, several thoughts flashed through my head. I remembered the first time Boateng and I had met. I remember thinking he was so handsome. At the time I’d had a crush but I knew what type of guy he was. I remembered Freda and Marilyn and the plethora of girls he’d sped through.

I remember when he said he liked me and then later reneged. I remembered how I was willing to give things a go at that time. I remembered how he’d realized how hurtful his actions were to me and then decided to seek counselling to become a better person.

I remembered the time I though Lara might be dying and he held me as I cried. I remembered when he held my hair as I threw up after having one too many to drink. That was something given that he didn’t particularly like being around drunk people.

There were too many memories to count. At every important point in time, Boateng was there. When I had ‘cut’ him off for Sly, I had felt that something important had died. It broke him and it broke me.

I rose from my bed and threw on the first pair of trousers I could find. I had one goal in mind and one place to be – at Boateng’s.

I knocked on the door a bit more passionately than was necessary but I felt like I was going to burst from excitement, anticipation and nerves. Boateng’s roommate came to the door in nothing but a flimsy towel tied around his waist. If the wind was to blow at just a higher speed, his nakedness would be exposed. I would say that he’d have no one to blame but himself but it was abundantly clear that he didn’t care.

I could smell the weed coming from the room. Parents send their children to school to gain an education and then they turn themselves into professional weed smokers and potential flashers. Oh, the tragedy of it all.

“Sorry, Boateng’s not here. He’s at the library” he said, nonchalantly. I thanked him and he smiled in response before closing the door.

I stood there for a few minutes contemplating what to do next. Maybe this was a sign, that I was just high on adrenaline or something and that it was probably best I return to my room and do some studying of my own.